“…when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” –Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally

 This quote speaks to the feelings of anticipation and impatience that have surrounded me for the past eleven months since Pablo and I chose to solidify our relationship. This event was marked by initializing his immigration to the United States and, in doing so, confirming that we both had intent to marry. The “proposal” was a mutual shrugging of shoulders in our attorney’s office…both agreeing that February 19, 2009 was indeed our “official date of engagement.” He left for Mexico the next day and I was left to endure feelings of surprise, disbelief, excitement, rejection, anxiety, and loneliness on my own.

Those who know me well know how easily I get ahead of myself and allow emotions to conquer reason, especially when things do not go according to plan. This year has definitely not gone as planned. This year hasn’t had a plan, but still, I had my own ideas of how the events of the year would unfold. While I have had a good share of “break-downs” this year, I have also grown tremendously. I am learning to be flexible and accept realities different from my expectations. My empathy for both my partner and others, who endure obstacles greater than mine, is developing. I am adjusting to Pablo’s pace. What wonderful premarital therapy, right?

Right.
But, even after all I have learned this year, what I really want is to be in Pablo’s arms now and forever.